It was at this point in my virgin viewing that Nick told me that the series is going to take a dip in quality for a little bit. “We have to wade through some crap to get back to the good stuff.” (I’m paraphrasing. I don’t have an eidedic memory.) He was right. So in the interest of moving through the episodes quickly until the series finds its legs again, these posts are going to be more hurried than usual. The plan is to only really show the important stuff, with occasional mention of the other silly/terrible plot lines going on.
Seeing as it’s now Monday, May 15th as I write this and there is now less than a week(!!!!) before the revival’s premiere, this will also help me get it all done in time.
The Re-Watch
This episode–the only one to jump ahead three full days, as noted by an actual “THREE DAYS LATER” caption–features the start of three less-than-stellar plot lines: 1) Little Nicky, which is a little corny but at least gives us some minor character development with Andy and Dick, and 2) Nadine goes back to high school, which I admit to finding funny in some parts, but it’s also too corny for my tastes. 3) Lana Budding-Milford and the Milford brothers. However, we thankfully get the M.T. Wentz thing over with.
The stuff I like involves the continuation of Stupid Bobby Plan #4 and seeing how Ben’s doing, and the Jean Renault/Cooper frame. They’re serviceable plots, at least, with characters I find interesting. And then of course there’s the start of the Black/White Lodge stuff, and Major Briggs’s growing influence, which I eat up like cherry pie and donuts.

Ray Wise is out of the credits and onto the mantelpiece of death.

It’s time for the wake for Leland at the Haywards’ house, and Sarah Palmer is taking all of this remarkably well, considering.

Before Audrey and Cooper say their (expected) goodbyes, Cooper tells her about Caroline’s death and the guilt he’s still carrying.

In a transition, the camera lingers here for a moment. A reminder of BOB’s exit?

Catherine formally returns to life, seeing the Sheriff and giving him what I believe is an entirely false story about wandering in the woods and stumbling upon an old family cabin where she’s spent her time since.
Hank gives Cooper a green-butt skunk lure for his night fishing trip with Major Briggs, and a Bookhouse Boy patch. He’s an official member now! (Incidentally, if there isn’t a Twin Peaks-themed cocktail called a green-butt skunk, then I am seriously disappointed in the world.) Cooper soon says his goodbyes to the main cast members of the Sheriff’s Department. In what I always liked to think was kind of a clue to what might happen at the start of season 3 (had the show not been cancelled), he tells Hawk:

I also liked to think Hawk would’ve somehow teamed with Major Briggs to get Cooper back.
Yet before Cooper can leave, Special Agent Roger Hardy comes to suspend Cooper, charging him with malfeasance and possibly drug smuggling. Also there’s a Canadian mountie.

If I’m not mistaken, Special Agent Hardy is the first black man we’ve seen on the show.
The D.E.A. is being brought in to investigate, and Coop has to surrender his gun and his badge, while Truman refuses to cooperate.
“If I understand the law correctly, you need extradition papers in order to get a statement from me, and you need a subpoena from a judge. Now unless you gentleman have that paperwork, I suggest you take your cooperation and stuff it.”

Yes, please!

Hank and Ernie honoring their marriage vows on their “hunting trip.”

Oh, and Josie’s back.
Cooper and Major Briggs finally get to go night fishing, and the topic of facing darkness with love instead of fear, and it seems like the Major is gearing up to recruiting Cooper for something, or at least sharing something:
“You, sir, were blessed with certain gifts. In that respect, you are not alone.”
And then, our first mention…

(OOh! Ooh! I have!!)
But before he can explain, there’s just a teeeensy tiny interruption:

“Candygram for Garland!”
Favorite Moments:
Audrey with Bobby. Harry’s support for Cooper. Cooper talking with Major Briggs, who has definitely brought him out there for more than just night fishing.
Least Favorite Moment:

This is maybe just a liiiittle too ridiculous.
Weirdest Moment:
I had to think on this one, because, aside from the Major’s abduction, there’s not really anything all that weird in this one. And I’ve seen a lot of sci-fi alien abduction scenes in my life, so this doesn’t really hold much weirdness for me. Hey, that’s kind of weird in and of itself, huh? I’ll make it all about me and go with that.
Favorite Lines:
“School numbs my buns, how about you?”
“There’s nothing quite like urinating out in the open air.”
Things I noticed for the first time:
How I should not watch this episode on an empty stomach.

PIE!
Sparkwood & 21 traffic light count: 6
Waterfall close-up shot count: 7
Windblown trees shot count: 10
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