Once more it’s time for another geek-related Top 5 List! In honor of the Star Trek Las Vegas Convention (STLV) going on as I type this (which I am not attending but certain friend-types of mine are–one of whom is at some point painting another of whom green at some point), today’s list is going to be…
Top Five Star Trek Exclamations
Shouting these lines of Trek dialogue are guaranteed to result in cheers from those in the know, and strange, confused, and possibly frightened looks from those who aren’t. You may also get some envious stares as those who wish they were bold enough to shout them look on and wonder why they don’t have your guts. Maybe you’ll even meet your future wife/husband this way when they see you share a common love of Trek. You never know. So, as usual, in no particular order…
“BRING FORTH THE LIRPA!!!”
Shouted by Vulcan priestess T’Pau in “Amok Time,” it refers to those big pizza-spatula-cutter things that Kirk and Spock use to slice and bludgeon the crap out of each other to see if Spock gets to have sex. Use this whenever anyone is having a disagreement.
(Okay, so technically T’Pau didn’t actually SHOUT it, but she’s got gravitas. You should shout it.)
Botany Bay Blinds
This one takes a little more preparation to pull off correctly. It’s a multi-step process:
- Go into a room where the blinds are down or the shades are drawn.
- YANK open said shades.
- Point out the window with shaking arm and defiant sneer.
- Shout: “THIS IS CETI ALPHA FIVE!!!!”
This is a good one for stress release. Or for just when you want to open the blinds with style.
“ASSASSINS!! MURDERERS!!”
We all shout silly things when accidentally shot full of WAY too much Cordrazine, right? But did you know you can also use this for getting yourself out of a potentially embarrassing situation, such as finding you’ve forgotten your wallet while in the supermarket checkout line? Try it!
Then run from the store. NO one will realize you forgot your wallet, and your dignity is secure!
“There are FOUR LIGHTS!!!”
Dipping into ST:TNG for this one, which is possibly one of Picard’s most remembered (shouted) quotes, and one delivered quite well in response to psychological torture while he was a Cardassian prisoner of war in the 1984-esque “Chain of Command” (Part 2). It’s one of the best TNG episodes, and Patrick Stewart, of course, delivers a great performance.
And YOU can use this line for when you’ve finally gotten your wireless modem/router to work again!
“PAAAAINNN!!!”
I really can’t do this one any more justice than this YouTube video from James Gamble, so I’ll just step aside and let you view it…
I love this list and fully intend to integrate “Bring forth the lirpa!” into everyday conversation.
Try it when ordering at Olive Garden!
Love this list. It makes up for the pain you caused me by reminding me others are currently having an awesome time in Vegas while painted green.
From now on I shall be loudly demanding ” bring forth the Lirpa” whenever we need the pizza slicer. This phrase will do double duty of not only sounding cool, but annoying/ puzzling my boyfriend who will not remember this episode any more than he remembered any of the others.
I was also thinking of screaming ” Assassins! Murderers!” At the top of my lungs as a joke in the meat department next time I went food shopping. I thought it would be funny. Then I remembered there’s a lady who already does that at our Albertsons. And it’s * not* funny.
So I’m sticking with the Lirpa.
“This is Ceti Alpha Five!” would also make a great banner/sign to hang above the front door of your home.
“BRING FORTH THE LIRPA!!!” You know, I may start using that line in my cover letter.
Naah, open your cover letter with “Murderers! Assassins! Then use the lirpa line during the interview that your cover letter will no doubt get you.